The Art of Seduction by Conversation: Using ‘The Add-On Principle’ to Get the Girl

Posted by Victoriousme

by Rachel Davis

Persuasion is a universally recognisable component of our society. You see people influencing others everywhere you go: women trying to talk themselves out of speeding tickets, salesmen attempting to convince a potential buyer that a product’s for them, defence attorneys arguing that their client is innocent – persuasion is everywhere, used by all of us, all the time.

Somewhere it’s especially noticeable (and vital, if you want to be successful) is in the game of attraction and seduction. For a man to pick-up a girl – that is: find, approach, talk to her and arrange to take it further – he MUST understand and be able to use persuasive psychology. And it’s that fact many men are surprised by when they hear it – that being successful with women isn’t a God given talent or a roll of the dice; it’s a skill like anything else. Today you’re going to learn a little about that skill. We’re going to look at a special persuasive psychological technique that, when used, massively increases your chances with the ladies. It’s called ‘The Add-On Principle’.

Picture the scene: You’ve got talking to a girl and been chatting for a little while. You can tell she’s enjoying the conversation and think that she’s quite attracted to you, too. You decide you’d like to make something happen with this girl and see her again real soon but you aren’t sure of the best way to go about making that a reality. You don’t want to ruin the positive dynamic that you’ve worked so hard to create and you definitely don’t want to scare her off or get rejected. So, what can you do? Well, first of all, what do most guys do when they’re in this situation? I’ll tell you, they take one of three routes:

Route #1: CLICHÉD NUMBER REQUEST. The first route has been taken so many millions of times in the past that it’s nowadays almost an act of parody – it’s asking the girl for her number. Taking this route is, 9 times out of 10, a Plan B at best. When you ask a girl for her number you not only give her control of the situation (which means she can very easily say no or slip you a phoney number), you also highlight that moment of the conversation as what it really is: an attempt at picking her up. When she realises this, she’s turned off. No girl likes the idea of being picked-up because it seems sleazy and dangerous. For a girl to allow herself to be picked up, it must feel natural and unforced.

Route #2: GOING FOR IT. This route’s most often taken at night, in bars, clubs and parties – namely because the availability of alcohol makes this option seem a good idea. ‘Going for it’ means a guy will try to kiss the girl or cop a feel a little while after talking to her. Perhaps he’ll do it while they dance or as the venue is closing and they’re leaving. Again, it’s a bad idea because it makes the girl feel used and not in control.

Route #3: BOTTLING IT. This option, quite simply, involves choking at the last second – being unable to go through with a  ‘closer’. The conversation’s gone great but the guy just doesn’t feel confident enough to propose meeting up again or something along those lines. As you can imagine, taking this route is a bad idea in regards to being successful with women.

So what do you do? The three routes above are bad, so what route can you take? Well, it goes without saying that you HAVE to run the risk of using a ‘closer’ if you want to see the girl again. Therefore, your goal is to make your offer – in whatever form it might take – seem like a natural, obvious, fun option for the girl to take. To achieve this, you should justify what you’re suggesting with a REASON you should both do it. For example: “Let’s swap numbers so we can talk about that book we both like.” Or, “We should get a coffee or hot chocolate some time, because I know a great little place that’s just opened and think you’d really like it.” When you follow up an offer (such as swapping numbers or going for a coffee) with a reason for doing it (to talk about something or because you know a nice little new place) you make the offer seem ATTRACTIVE and a NATURAL thing for the girl to say yes to. This is the essence of ‘The Add-On Principle’. When you employ it, try to always use the words “So” and “Because.” Our minds, when we hear these words, associate them with good reasons, they back things up for us in our heads. You can use this principle any time you want a suggestion you’ve made to a girl to be accepted and agreed to. For example: “Shall we go over and look at the jukebox, so we can put on some tunes we both like?” You’re taking away any hard work the girl needs to do in deciding whether or not she wants to go ahead with what you’re suggesting, simply because you’ve already given her a valid, natural-sounding reason to say “YES!”

Try it…you’ll be amazed at the results.

Rachel Davis is the author of Conversation-King, a guide that teaches men how to attract and seduce women by mastering the art of verbal communication.

Picking Up Women: How to Make Easy, Fun Conversation That Leads to Attraction & Sexual Chemistry

Posted by Victoriousme

by Rachel Davis

There are two main ways in which we communicate with others: non-verbal communication and vocal/verbal communication. You probably already know a little about the non-verbal side of things, such as the types of body language that silently signal someone’s nervous, excited or angry. But how about the more obvious but actually less frequently discussed topic of verbal communication: how what we say and how we say it impacts on our lives and goals? That’s the subject we’re going to look at today. Except we’re going to a get a little more specific and delve into how a guy can make easy, fun conversation with a woman, that helps lead to attraction and sexual chemistry between the two of you.

Let’s first get a grasp on a few pieces of background information. First off, how do most men make conversation with a  woman they’re attracted to? What do they do right, wrong or completely miss out from their talks with the opposite sex? The best way to answer these questions is simply to identify the mistakes the majority of men out there make – things every guy, for whatever reason, chooses to do when talking to a girl, that hinder – rather than help – his chances of hooking up with her.

Mistake #1: ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS. Lots of men worry that when they start talking to a girl, she won’t say much back. This outcome, standing there – suffering an awkward, embarrassing silence – is so much of a concern that they ask the girl question after question to avoid it. The reason they bombard her with questions is because they think that the best way of getting and keeping the girl talking is by giving her more and more opportunities to say something, no matter what the topic happens to be. Unfortunately, doing this sends out a very negative message. It actually shows that you’re nervous and would prefer her to do most of the talking, which often turns the woman off completely.

Mistake #2: NEVER SHUTTING UP. This is the opposite scenario to the one above, but happens for the same reason. Some men, scared that the girl they’re talking to will up and leave any second, choose to talk endlessly in an effort to keep their attention. Again, this is immediately obvious as a sign of social inexperience and nervousness.

Mistake #3: BORING HER TO DEATH. It’s not easy talking to a girl who’s beautiful, sexy and usually practically unattainable. So when a guy gets chatting to a girl he really likes, who’s hot and confident, he doesn’t want to mess it up – after all, it might not happen again for ages! So, in an attempt to limit the chance of saying something that might ruin the interaction and thus his chances with her, he subconsciously restricts the topics of conversation he brings up. He talks about work, the weather, sports, current affairs, perhaps bombards her with a few questions on those subjects…and generally doesn’t push the boat out much.
Okay, so they’re 3 of the worst mistakes a guy can make when talking to a girl he likes. So let’s flip the coin and look at what he SHOULD be doing.

Objective #1: PROGRESSIVE QUESTIONING. Choose what questions you ask the girl wisely. You don’t want to throw too many her way too quickly. If you do, you give her too much control over the conversation and don’t provide her with a challenge. So, use progressive questioning – ask her questions that she MUST give a detailed response to. Avoid Yes/No questions and instead quiz her on things that require emotion-packed responses. “Do you come her often?” is a terrible question. “What do you think this place could do to make it feel more lively and fun?” is much better, as it not only requires a more detailed reply than a simple “Yes” or “No,” it also probes the girl on what makes her feel good.

Objective #2: Don’t be afraid to let short pauses punctuate your conversation with a girl. Many men panic when they hear a silence and jump in with another question or statement to fill it. Don’t make the same mistake. A confident, dominant guy – the kind of man women love – isn’t afraid of little pauses, because they’re natural and harmless. He simply, waits a second or two, sips his drink, smiles and goes with the flow.

Objective #3: It’s okay to use common topics of conversation when you first get talking to a girl. But move away from the mundane stuff as quickly as you can and instead choose to tell engaging stories. Describe a great holiday you had, an amazing concert you recently went to…make it positive and interesting and you engage the girl’s emotions and make her want to tell YOU about her own good times. When this happens, instant rapport and sexual chemistry is born.

Rachel Davis is the author of Conversation-King, a guide that teaches men how to attract and seduce women by mastering the art of verbal communication.

How to Pick Up Girls: The Power of ‘Yes’

Posted by Victoriousme

by Rachel Davis

Everyone, male or female, feels an important need to be consistent in the things they say, do and feel. If we’re flaky and liable to change at the drop of a hat what we believe or have promised, we know that people are likely to judge and mistrust us. This commonly felt sense of importance regarding the need to be consistent within ourselves can be exploited when attempting to seduce a woman. One seduction technique that makes use of this concept is called ‘The Power of Yes’.

Here’s a common scenario most men have experienced at some point or another in their lives. You find yourself talking to a girl, maybe you approached her and consciously started a conversion, or perhaps the chat began unplanned, naturally. Either way, you’re enjoying each other’s company. After a while, it dawns on you that you and the girl you’re talking to are going to have to go your separate ways pretty soon, which poses a slight dilemma: how can you make it so this isn’t the first and last time you two are together and instead arrange for it to progress into something further? The obvious route to take is to perform a ‘closer’.
A closer is when you make a conscious effort to get a girl’s number, swap both your numbers, arrange to meet up again soon, or otherwise cross that social “getting to know you” line. Thing is, you don’t want your closer to crash and burn, you want the girl to happily agree to whatever it is you suggest. So how can help ensure that happens? You use psychology, specifically, ‘The Power of Yes’ technique. The technique involves getting the girl you’re interacting with to give several positive ‘yes’ responses to your questions in quick succession. Doing so helps develop an internal sense of positivity in the female that carries over in her mind to when you perform the actual closer and tips the balance in the direction of agreement to your request or suggestion.

You can do this by using subtle and casual responses after she says things, like: “Really?” and “Do you?” Match your response to what she’s just said and ensure it takes the form of a question that you’re sure will prompt a ‘yes’ response from her. Getting between 3 and 6 of these positive responses is usually enough to allow the principle to work.

At the same time, avoid asking questions or saying things near the end of your conversation, just before you’re about to close, that could possibly evoke negative reactions or “no” responses from the female.
The reason this technique works so well is because of the natural human phenomenon mentioned at the start of this article – that people feel it’s important to be consistent and congruent in the things they say and the situation they’re in. After responding to you positively half a dozen times, a natural inclination is created in the female’s mind for saying ‘yes’ – she’s gotten used to it. When you finally suggest going for a bite to eat tomorrow or visiting that museum together you told her about, the most natural and consistent response in her mind is a responding “Yes!”…it just feels right.

Rachel Davis is the author of Conversation-King, a guide that teaches men how to attract and seduce women by mastering the art of verbal communication.

The Laundromat Pickup

Posted by Victoriousme

By Rachel Davis

Ok, you’ve probably heard that Laundromats are great pick up places, better than a singles bar – that’s because they are! Maybe not better, but certainly a great alternative that’s just as good. You can pretend your entire motive is to wash clothes, and that you’re not on the make. The woman won’t have that feeling like you’re just trying to pick her up if you strike up a chat here – even if that’s exactly what you’re doing!

What really helps you out here is that women like to talk, and they love to give advice – especially to “helpless” men! First of all, pick a good Laundromat – meaning one where you’ve seen lots of attractive women who aren’t dragging a bunch of kids with them or wearing wedding rings. Basically, pick one in a neighborhood with lots of young, single women – they’ll be using the Laundromat close to home. And don’t worry if you already have a washing machine at home, it’s worth the trip out and a little change to meet women! If you meet someone that eventually makes it back to your place and discovers you have a machine at home, just tell her it was broken, or better yet, be honest and say you went to the Laundromat hoping to meet someone, and that was the best decision you ever made because you met her.

But let’s back up, first you’ve got to meet her! So go to the Laundromat with your basket of clothes – no detergent. Make sure you don’t bring anything a woman might find disgusting – like really dingy, holey underwear, badly stained T-shirts, or socks that used to be white but now look like you walked through mud in them. However, something slightly stained won’t hurt – like a grass stain on your jeans or chocolate sauce on a shirt. You can use this later to help with the conversation.

Go in, plop your laundry basket down on a machine near one or more ladies you wouldn’t mind picking up, and start digging through the basket like you’re looking for something. Then say out loud to yourself, “Oh, man, I forgot the detergent!” Laundromats usually have a vending machine selling detergent, so go over and start browsing. Act like you don’t know which one to pick, then go to the woman you want to chat up and say, “Excuse me, they don’t have my regular detergent here and I don’t know what to use. Can you help me pick one out?” Women can’t resist an opportunity to give advice, and they love the idea that men might be helpless when it comes to some chores, like laundry. This is where, if you’ve got the grass stain or whatever, you can bring that up and say you don’t know what to do to get it out. She may come over and show you how to rub detergent on the stain, etc. After you get the detergent, go back to your machine, fumble around, and go back to her and say, “I’m sorry to keep bothering you, but these machines are different than what I’m used to and I don’t know what setting to use. Could you give me a hand? I’m sorry to seem so helpless.” Milk the helpless bit for all it’s worth. Ask her how much detergent to use, what colors you can wash together, and what temperature to set the water at – whatever you can think of.

Also, if the Laundromat doesn’t have a vending machine for detergent, ask the woman if you can borrow some of hers. Insist on paying her back by paying for her washing or dryer use. Either way, once you’ve got her talking, keep chatting about clothes as long as that stays interesting – once it starts to get lame and boring, ditch the topic! Make sure and introduce yourself and get her name, then start asking her about herself. Find out where she works, what she does for fun, what movies or bands she likes, what her favorite types of food are. You can use that info as she’s packing up her clothes to leave – Say, “Thanks so much for the help. I’d love to pay you back by taking you out for some Italian food (or going to hear that band you like, or see that movie you said you’d been dying to see.)”

And one last thing, be ready with an explanation of why you’re using this particular Laundromat if it’s not in your neighborhood, just in case she asks. Make sure you pick one that’s not too far from home, and just say the one in your neighborhood was full and you didn’t want to wait for a machine. Now grab some change, a pile of dirty clothes, and get ready to bag that babe!

If you’ve found this free tip interesting and want to learn more about exactly how to talk to women and what to say, check out Rachel’s website Click Here

Pickup in the Park Using Your Dog

Posted by Victoriousme

by Rachel Davis
 

Check this out – You want hot babes dying to give you their number? Hell, yeah, you do! Tired of always having to chase after them? Of course you are! So why not get them to come to you?
There’s a simple trick that has the babes flocking to you. It’s as easy as a walk in the park – if you bring a dog along for the stroll, that is. 

Yeah, you’ve heard about dogs being a babe magnet – because it’s true! Time to start believing it and try it out for yourself. And if you don’t have a dog, be the nice guy and offer to take a friend’s pooch for a walk once in a while. The dog doesn’t have to belong to you to have that same magnetic effect on women.

It works like this: Woman sees man with cute, furry dog. Woman can’t resist going up to pet and talk to dog. Woman is feeling all warm and fuzzy and friendly and starts asking man about dog. “He’s so cute! What’s his name? What kind is he? Can I pet him?” All you have to do is be ready with the basic info. Like, “Thanks, his name’s Butch. He’s no kind, just a mutt, aren’t ya boy? But he’s a sweet mutt. Go ahead; he loves to be petted by beautiful women.”

From here, ask if she has pets, learn about them, what kind, their names. If she doesn’t have a dog now, ask if she ever did. Find out about it, then ask her advice on your dog. Like, “Since you used to have a dog, maybe you’ll know this, but Butch wants to bark all night long. Any idea what I should do?” This doesn’t have to be the exact question, just pick something where she can give advice and an opinion. She’ll feel needed, and you just have to act interested and impressed with the advice. If she never had a dog, share a fuzzy story about the dog and why they make good pets. Then say, “Ya know, Butch is really digging you. He never takes to strangers like this. I think he’d be really disappointed if he didn’t get to see you again. Care to join us here for a picnic tomorrow?” Now you’ve been sweet and flattering and funny in one fell stroke, and the woman will be eating out of the palm of your hand. Get her number, set a date. Just pack some wine and a blanket with that picnic basket, and you’ll be ready to rock!

If you’ve found this free tip interesting and want to learn more about exactly how to talk to women and what to say, check out Rachel’s website Click Here

Get in touch with your feminine side, so you can get inside hers

Posted by Victoriousme

by Rachel Davis

Some women are just out there waiting to be hit on, and they’re sending signals. You just have to pick up on the signals, then striking up a conversation is a piece of cake because that’s what the woman was waiting for from anybody. It might as well be you! 

Go someplace where people hang out, like a bar or bookstore. If there’s a woman at the bar who’s just sort of looking bored, who keeps looking around the room or even getting up to walk around the room, that woman is looking for action. Go up to her and comment on something about the place, like “Hi. It sure is quiet in here tonight.” Or “Hi, I can’t believe how packed this place is.” She was just waiting for someone to talk to, and this is all she’ll need to be off and running. Let her lead and follow along! Maybe throw in a comment like, “What’s a beautiful woman like you doing sitting here all alone?” Don’t say that at first, because women hear cheesy lines like that all the time. But if you say it a few minutes after conversation has started, it erases any doubt from her mind as to whether you’re hitting on her or you’re just someone who’s making idle conversation but not looking to meet. Give her the cheesy pick-up line that includes a compliment – and women love compliments! – and she’ll know what you’re after. 

At a bookstore, check out the chicks over by the magazine racks. If there’s one who just keeps browsing titles, idly picking up a mag and flipping through the pages, all the while looking around to check out the other people there – that’s a gal just waiting for someone to take notice of HER. Do it, and you’ll find a woman ready and willing to talk to you – and probably hoping you’ll ask for her number!

Just go up to her, tell her the magazine she’s reading looks interesting, or that you already read that and there’s a great article in there, or (if it’s a woman’s magazine) that you’ve been tempted to read “Cosmo” or whatever it is just to see what kind of stuff those mags tell women. Ask her if she thinks men would find any useful information about women in there. She’ll be off and running with stories of how silly the articles are, or how they might be interesting to men. Talk a while, and then ask her to sit down for coffee to chat more. Then ask for her number. She was looking to meet, so she’ll be more than willing to hand over those digits!

If you’ve found this free tip interesting and want to learn more about exactly how to talk to women and what to say, check out Rachel’s website > Click Here